I can not believe that I have been going to ED for 9 weeks now. I am afraid my weight has not changed this week. I am 16st 2lb but this is not a surprise as I have not really tried too much and work has prevented me getting to my normal exercise classes. I have been doing my 100 - 150 crunches each morning and today boy can I feel that, I even might have pulled something. I am now crunching from the waist and also lifting my legs to meet my hands in the middle - it is really straining! but I need it...
Now I am sitting here with an opportunity to write, I do not know what to say. So many times when I can not get to the PC I sit there and conjure up a great blog entry - isn't that just the way.
So far today I am abstinent and very grateful for that. My temper had been getting the better of me again recently and I have been short with the kids or shouty, I realised last night at meeting that I need to be abstinent to stay in a good frame of mind to ensure that I am being the best person I can be. Whilst my head is obsessed with food and temptation I am not all I should be. So yet again I am trying - I need to do some serious praying to keep me focused.
I think I have two little ladies who do not feel well today, streaming noses and gunky eyes as well as teeth coming through accompanied by runny bums and general miseries! I feel quite unsure what to do - I have this big 'to do' list of things to get through but then the girls will probably not sleep again today (as they fell asleep for 1/2 hr in the pushchair on the way back form toddlers). I ought to just allow myself to enjoy 2 hours with the girls and whatever TV we fancy before we collect JJ. I think sometimes I do just need to give myself permission not to achieve and just to enjoy my kids. The girls are at a lovely age at the moment - they will be 2 in 3 weeks and their amount of chatting and fun we have is great.
So off now to do lunch for us all - I will stick to plan, planning the night before does help me so much. Then some playing and resting is the order of the day - after all I was up at 1.30am this morning with M crying in my arms - we fell asleep together on the single bed in the girls room but it was not comfy and I feel quite tired today for it.
