In general I am fine, I am feeling OK, not unhappy or anything but not ecstatic either.
I have not been being very good around my food, but I am taking heart that my ED meeting promotes that you have to keep coming back as one day the miracle will happen and it will all click for me and I will abstain. For some people this takes years, I have always known that God is trying to encourage me to have more patience! I just pray that it comes sooner rather than later.
I was driving along in the car the other day and thinking about food (like I do) and I realised that actually whilst I want to lose weight, be well and be a good role model I do not actually WANT to abstain from eating what I consider to be the fun and yummy foods. I suppose I do have to get to the point where I want to give them up and where I am willing to do so. They always say with alcoholics and smokers and anyone else with an addiction that they can only be helped when they want to be and I guess I have not yet got to that place. It is a sad realisation but at least it is another step along my journey.
