is all I can put my weight maintenance down to. I weighed this morning and was 15st 13lb, this is a loss from last week but I do not feel I have put in the work to deserve a loss. I am still eating stuff I should not and eating too much at times. I am being very conscious of what I eat and praying each day as well as reading my OA literature but I do sort of feel that I am paying lip service and not really trying my best at all. I read the other day about someone who just prayed for the willingness to be abstinent and this behaving 'as if' was enough to help them kick into the right mind frame and actually becoming willing.
Lord, I offer myself to you. Please be with me and stop me taking that first compulsive bite. Nothing will ever be as satisfying as when I am able to have 3 meals a day and no more and to stop thinking about food the whole time.
I also read the other day that in turning to food whenever I have an adverse emotion I am in effect turning away from God, as I am not trusting that he will get me through whatever is going on. This is sad, I had not thought of it like that before but I suppose it is true.
