I know I should not and I am so pleased I caught myself doing it earlier and I am now posting this as a reminder to myself to stop projecting and thinking ahead too much. I was sat in Church waiting for the service to start when I started thinking 'oh I wish it was next week and then loads of stuff will be out of the way'.
This is completely stupid as logically I know this week will be fine but I am feeling a bit apprehensive. Shall I share with you my apprehensions? I think I will as it will put them in perspective and remind me there is nothing to fear. I just need to remain positive, pray and trust in God. He will make things as they should be. Stop being so willful Mich !
Tomorrow at work I am on an internal panel, it is the first academic interviews I have sat on and I am stressing about questions. Shall I remind myself how needless this is? For 5 years I managed a recruitment agency and every day I interviewed people and found them jobs, I was well respected and earned a lot of money as I was good at my job! Just because it is not something I have done for a while does not mean I have deteriorated at it. The last person I interviewed and employed is diamond and still works for me.
Tuesday I need to leave work early so that I can look after the kids as dh is off to a conference in Birmingham. I am stressing that work will be pissed off with me for leaving early as I was off sick for 1.5 days last week. Totally not related and we work flexitime, so again there is nothing for me to fear.
Then dh is away 2 nights and this means I need to get the 3 kids ready to leave the house for 7.30am on Wednesday morning to get to work. Now no offense babe if you are reading this, I do appreciate your help on my work mornings but we both know I could do it alone so again - why is it worrying me?
If I allow my scatty brain to get the better of me I could then start stressing about whether I should go to the gym before work on Tuesday morning or if I should go into work early and make up those 2 hours I will be off in the afternoon. Decisions, decisions... My sensible head says that because I am interviewing Monday ad can not do my aqua class then I must go to the gym in the morning and get my dose of exercise. My needs are important too.
Then my last worry, which I think is the one which is creating the rest of this crap is that I am organising and running a quiz night at JJ's school on Friday night. We have 115 people coming and 17 teams. I have never run a quiz night before and I am worrying about the babysitting getting her eon time, dh getting back form work to help me, the level of the questions, the food arriving on time, there being enough drink, remembering to organise everything, getting enough tables in the hall to hold everyone, the PA equipment working etc etc My spiritual gifts are administration and organisation, so I should not even be having this stress. My plans have been done for months. Many of the PTA poo pooed a quiz night and said it would not work, I knew it would and had faith and now we are on track for about £500 made for the school.
So that is what I need now, a good dose of faith please Lord. Help me put these stupid worries to bed and to hand them all over to you. I will play my part and diligently work to organise as best I can. The rest is your business. Amen
