Call For Posts: Multiples Mayhem Carnival - 9 December

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It is time for a carnival!  A Multiples Mayhem carnival none the less. So come on and join in, all bloggers with twins, triplets or more... can submit a post.

It would be great to get some posts with a festive feel, but no real pressure.  Everything is welcome.  We are fully inclusive here. In fact if you only have singletons and want to write about your desire to have twins I'll even include that! lol

Email (mummyfromtheheart@virginmedia.com) your links to me by the end of 6th December and the carnival will go live here on Mummy From The Heart... on 9th December.  It should make for some good reading.

I am getting very excited....  It is my first carnival. Make it a good one and send me your post please, old and new welcome.

Ohh, and you see that beautiful badge at the top. That as created by Rebecca at twobecomefour, she has a real talent for design work and her digital scrapbooking is fab! Go visit her...

Thanks, Mich x

Getting My Priorities Right!

Today (and yesterday actually - go me, 2 days in a row!) I am really pleased to say that I got my priorities right.

It is so easy to get involved with the detail, the small stuff and I am known for sweating it! I just can not seem to help myself, I get stressed about crazy things.  Is my house clean enough? Have I made my video footage into a DVD yet? Why am I so fat? Will it snow some more? Have I promoted my blog giveaways enough? None of these things really matter. There are so many bigger fish to fry.

So on Monday from nowhere I found myself seriously thinking about what I would do if I found out that I was very poorly.  My actual thought process was around having cancer and being told there was only a few months to live. I know this is nothing new, that often people try and get you to put things in perspective by asking what you would do if there was only a few months left but I have never seriously considered this. It was a bit of a revelation for me.  If there really was only a few months left there would be some seriously expensive things that I would do, like flying off to Disney with my family and taking my Mum abroad to the Caribbean and I won't be rushing out and doing those things as I must still remain sensible in this as praise the Lord I have not been told I am unwell.

There were plenty of things that came to mind though, which it is now my duty to make happen.  Lying in bed with my kids snuggling and watching a DVD, going for walks through the woods, playing on the swings, doing craft together, spending time with my hubbie and enjoying each others company.

I am pleased to say that yesterday instead of hurrying my kids to bed so that I could get downstairs and either have some me time or start to tidy up the house I took turns to get into bed with each of the kids and had some serious snuggles, we did prayers and JJ read to me too.  Then at 10pm I was strict with myself and I switched the computer off and I went upstairs to read instead.

I have also booked next Monday off work and so has dh and we are planning to spend the day together, shopping, going to the cinema and having lunch, all child free - it should be bliss.

The one thing that I seriously need to keep in perspective is this blog. I was having a good think yesterday lunchtime (it was the day for it) about what hard work blogging can be and especially how much effort it takes to undertake good product reviews and to run competitions/ giveaways on your blog, so I seriously need to think about my motivation for doing this and the way forward. Do I just forget the reviews and go back to blogging for pleasure as and when I fancy.  I think I know that is the best answer for me, as I have always said this is not a business for me, it is supposed to be an enjoyable hobby and not an all-consuming popularity contest.  Do remember that Mich!

What about you?  Have you thought about your priorities recently?

Silent Sunday: Bliss

Perfect Therapy!

What an amazing couple of days I have just had staying in the most beautiful London hotel.  Work booked me in for a CPD course for Weds and Thurs this week and I was not too sure what to expect.  To be honest the course was not that useful to me but the people were nice and it is always good to network......  but the hotel, well that was a real treat! We stayed at the Athenaeum Hotel on Piccadilly, Mayfair.  It is a established 5* hotel but not one I had been to before and I have been to a fair few. What I loved was that it was decadent but also quirky and unique. Nothing appeared to be copied on every floor, all the art work was different and  absolutely stunning. The receptionist checked me in and tried to get my hubbie and girls to stay too.  I convinced her I really was quite happy to stay alone and off she took me for a tour of the hotel and then onto my bedroom to show me how all the lights, air con, ipod dock etc etc worked.

One of the best things she had to tell me was that my mini bar was completely free, as was the teddy in my room!  No I did not drink it dry, but yes a few bits made it into my bag to come home with me!

One of the parts of the tour that I loved was the children's Winter Wonderland play room. Just look at it...  Any child that stays at the hotel should use the room and enjoy their stay at the hotel and use the craft, DVD's, games...  Wow, not the kind of hotel I normally stay at - let me tell you!

The service was second to none, completely discreet but extremely professional. The food was of a fabulous standard, it easily met that of the Ivy and in fact there is not one thing that I could fault about my stay. Whilst the Athenaeum is out of my normal price range I would most definitely consider coming here again for a special occasion or if I could find a good deal.

It is amazing how 36 hours without the kids can really recharge your batteries.  Sitting in the deep bath relaxing, having my divine 3 course supper, chatting over pancakes, bacon and maple syrup for breakfast and being able to watch TV sprawled across the whole bed was the making of a very happy and relaxed Mich. The indulgence of those couple of days also had the effect that I was happy to come home and get back on track with my food and come back to being abstinent again. Excess makes me want to back away form the food thankfully.  So today I am very thankful for a wonderful meeting at my Eating Disorder fellowship last night, some super friends who really build me up and support me, a loving God and the ability to give up my will and to be abstinent from the act of eating compulsively.

Yes, I am singing this hotels praises and no they have not sponsored me to do so.  You know when you just love something and you have to tell the world!

The Gallery: My Beautiful Boy in Black & White

I was looking through my albums for a black and white photo to use for this weeks Gallery.  I knew the one I wanted but then I came across this and I could not resist.  White babe in a black bag!  This always makes me laugh a lot; if you look at the photo for too long it looks false, as if I have pasted his head and arm on a completely different photo!  He really was in Nanny's bag..

And this is the actual beautiful black and white photo I was looking for. Taken at a professional studio when JJ was about 8 months. I will treasure this picture forever.

Super Saturday: I'm A Lucky Girl!

This post originally appeared on my blog on 6 February 2010, I am re posting today to join in with Big Mama Cass's 2nd Look Saturday, where we re-post things from the past that might have been missed. As many of you know my blog has only been public reading for a few months.

It seemed right to post this again today, as it is Saturday and I expect a super day!!
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My how times change when we have kids, or they certainly have for me. Go back 6.5 years and you may find me enjoying a Saturday in London, spending money in the shops, having a lovely lunch at a swanky restaurant, meeting friends or dh, perhaps the theatre in the evening, another meal and maybe even stay over in a nice 4 or 5*. Not so any more, the money is not there and that is OK as we consciously made the decision to have far less money and far more time with the children.

So what makes me feel like a lucky girl today? Well it is those simple things -

* dh getting up at 5am with pesky Miss M who wanted the toilet, her dummy, water, milk and anything else she could muster the strength to ask for.
* getting cuddles with all 3 kids in my bed (whilst poor dh has gone to work).
* taking an hour to read a good book (in bed) whilst the kids played and did some drawing on the floor.
* doing my toe and finger nails (in bed, can you see a theme for this morning??) with the girls trying to help me ('my help you mummy', 'ohh painting', 'pink, pretty!' etc).
* having a lovely shower and hair wash in peace whilst the kids all made music together (yes a bit of a din but at least they were not arguing).
* pottering about the house and getting the bathroom cleaned, my bed changed, upstairs tided, dishes sorted, washing on, all with double mini assistance (*ahem*)
* now we are off out for lunch at pizza hut (if the 50% off voucher ever arrives by email! grr)
* then tonight dh and I are off to a murder, mystery evening which should be good fun.

I am very grateful for my Saturdays. They used to be a busy day as I got up and dashed about in the same way that I do all 6 of the other days in the week. JJ went to a sports club and had to be there for 9am and as dh works on a Saturday that meant the girls had to be ready too. Now he does football after school and Beavers and has dropped this club and I am so pleased. I may never let anything steal my Saturday space again. I think everyone needs one chilled day per week. I know many do this on a Sunday but as we enjoy going to Church and it is the only day we are all together we tend to do things then.

I always said I would not be one of those Mums whose kids went to tons of clubs and they run round like loonies to accommodate the kids. I think what I specifically did not like was the competitive mums (you know the ones!) that had their children doing a club every day of the week - French Club, then maths tuition, then swimming, then violin lessons, then ballet and then a day of drama on Saturday. At one point JJ was doing Beavers and Boys Brigade on an evening and Sports Club on a Saturday morning and this felt like too much. When was his time just to play in the garden? and when was my time to just cuddle up with the kids? I think some of the problem comes that you get home from school at 3.40pm and then the club starts at 5.15pm so madly I cook dinner and shove it down their throats to rush out to drop off and then by 6.25pm I am out again to pick JJ up.

I dread when both girls want to go to clubs as well and then I will have 3 children to try and get to numerous places. Call me selfish but I think I will try and limit their activities to ensure there is a balance of getting the extra curricular fun and then taking time at home to be kids and to play.

How do you feel about the chasing around for clubs?

Due Date.... Today!

It’s 18th November 2010. Today is my due date. This is the day I was supposed to give birth to my fourth child. Of course it was not to be and I have blogged about my miscarriage here, here and here.

I always prayed before I had children that I would not miscarry as I knew it would be something really hard for me to deal with. I do think the blow of losing my babe was softened by the fact that I have already been blessed three times. Of course each child is different and I was sure that this babe would be a boy and I would have named him Samuel Noah. So little Samuel you will always have a special place in my heart, you are the beautiful babe that I never got to have.

Straight after the miscarriage I could not believe how well I appeared to be dealing with things. People kept telling me to let myself mourn but I was not listening. I was OK, well in my mind. Then over the last four or five months I have had periods of sadness and loss and I think slowly I have been coming to terms with the fact that our family is complete. 5 is a perfect number for us.

It seems a bit trite to say that I believe I am mourning the loss of a fantasy as much as the loss of my actual babe. Once I found out I was pregnant I thought how great it was that I would be on maternity leave when my girls started nursery school and how that would make logistics much easier. I also had all these little dreams about being able to breastfed my single baby and having time alone together to get to know each other and to snuggle. Sadly much of that one on one was missing with the girls as there were always two on one as well as toddler in toe. I built this little fantasy world in my head, the one where I would have the natural (don’t lynch me for using that word, I know my c-section births were natural too. I just don’t want to use the V word!) birth I had always longed for. Perhaps in water with dh at my side and definitely serene and blissful.

So here I am today in the reality and let’s be honest the reality isn’t bad at all. I have one husband I love who is hard at work earning a living to keep our family. I am sat at toddlers surrounded by loads of friends from my Church. The girls are having fun playing and I have a job that I enjoy and fits in with my family. I am blessed every day by the Lord and all my needs are met and provided for. I really cannot ask for any more!

I will not feel sad today, I will celebrate my life and all that I have.

I was prompted to post this by Josie’s writing workshop and also I wanted to support Jen at the Madhouse in her crusade to get people talking more about miscarriage.

The Gallery: Before & After

The prompt from Tara for the Gallery this week is Before and After. Tara asked us to take a photo from the past and to recreate it today.

So here is a picture of me blowing a raspberry on JJ's belly when I was 8.5 months pregnant with the twins.

Then we got home from Messy Church today and I bribed him (with cuddles whilst watching TV with me) to help me to create the scene again.

I suppose the before and after could apply to the fact that the first picture was before the twins were born and the second was after. Or it could be before our recent redecoration of the lounge (goodbye yucky orange wall!)

But of course as soon as the girls saw the 'fun' JJ and I were having, they wanted a piece of the action too, so first Miss M joining in...

..and Miss E just could not control herself and collapsed in fits of laughter!

And this awful picture is what prompted the fun in the first place, back in July 2007. I was 36 weeks pregnant with the twins and JJ wanted to give them a kiss and then asked me to kiss his tummy, but of course Mummy blew raspberries instead!

Wordless Wednesday: Love Your World

OK, this post isn't wordless. Hands up I told a fib! I wanted to make it wordless but wondered if any of you would know what the pictures were about! lol

Today, we went to messy Church in our local town. This is a fab initiative that is run nationwide. You arrive after school finishes, have squash and tea. Make crafts for an hour - loads of fun doing messy activities, then we have an interactive story and song and finish by having tea all together. How fab no cooking for Mich today!

The picture above shows all the fab things my children got to make and take home, including bird feeders.

These two pictures show all the children's activities from their time in messy Church today.

If anyone local would like to come with me, once a month on a Wednesday just shout. You do not have to be a Christian, but you do have to enjoy fun!!!!

Notes From The Heart...

I hear that Kat is back hosting her Dear So and So meme again and I do love that. It is so therapeutic to fire off a few letters/ notes to people who just may never know about them. Here are mine this week -

Dear Children,

I can not wait for tomorrow. I pray our little weekend outing to Santa's Magical Kingdom will be just that - magical! It is fab to have Daddy off work and to know we can all spend time together with no jobs to do. Just fun!

Reviewing Hop Farm for the Santa experience (watch out for my write up early next week readers), then staying at a hotel (first time for you girls), having breakfast in the restaurant, going on to visit Nanny and Grandad and hopefully Daddy and I will get to go out together Sunday night for some 'us' time. Then if you are good big boy, you and Daddy can go to the cinema Saturday night while the girls and me stay in and watch our cheesy Saturday night TV.

Then to top it all Uncle Rich is here doing some last jobs for us and enjoying the peace at our house while we are away. Perfect!

Please my three gorgeous kiddies can you try your hardest to behave for Mummy and Daddy this weekend. It would be such a shame to have something so lovely tarred by silly behaviour.

Love you all, big kisses Mummy xxx
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To Lizzie at Toddlers,

It was lovely to meet you and your gorgeous kids today. It is not often that I find someone who is so open and will just chat. I really appreciated you chatting away to me and I hope to see you again next week.

Michelle
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Dear Anyone with a decent answer,

Can you please tell me why Miss E regresses every so often and starts to wet herself again. Attention seeking? Laziness? I do not know. She seems to find it funny and laughs when I ask her and then tell her off. She knows it is naughty and I am convinced knows she needs to do a wee. She was dry for a good 6 months before we had any spates of wetting and then we can go weeks between these little incidents.

I am baffled and I have to say it really annoys me.

Thanks for your wisdom, Mich x
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To all the Parents at JJ School,

It was a real blessing today to see the 92 beautiful shoe boxes that we collected for Operation Christmas Child. Thank you so much for your effort and consideration. Just imagine how stoked those kids will be when they receive their lovely gift.

Thanks again, Michelle

PS - Start collecting bits from now on, we will be doing it again next year, bigger and better!
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To the three children who made the blue covered shoe boxes,

I think it is the most beautiful thing ever that whilst your family does not have the spare money to make a shoebox up that you went to your own bedrooms and choose some toys to give to other kids who are less fortunate. It seems so unfair that I can not actually give your secondhand, broken toys to those children as I am sure they would be grateful of them but you are an example to each of us. Your giving heart is a credit to you.

Thanks and love, Michelle x
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Dear Lord,

I need to do a gratitude list. I am feeling so blessed at the moment. I thank you Lord for my food sponsor, for being abstinent, for the fab news about the nursery fees, for this family weekend, for my wonderful parents and all they do for us, for my job and for helping me keep perspective when my own mind wanted to run off and go nuts!

You just amaze me. I know that when we gladly serve you or others we are repaid for our efforts. Just today I gave my time to check the shoe boxes and there in one of the boxes was a pair of nearly new school shoes in Miss M's size that we could not send off in the boxes. How that has blessed me - I have been wondering where the £60 will come from for 2 pairs of school shoes in January.

Thank you, help me to know you more each day.

Michelle x

Facing The Truth: I Was A Bully

A different lifetime. A different person. I was not me back then. Not the me I am nowadays anyway. Not a mother who understands that every child should be treated equally and that kids do not choose their upbringing. I was a little girl. A chubby little girl who often got teased by other kids and sometimes got picked on. But I was one of the lucky ones; I had an amazing family waiting at home for me.

I had no idea what I was part of. I wanted to be liked and to be part of the gang. So much so, that I am now ashamed of my behaviour. My recollection is that at the time I had no idea I was part of anything nasty. No realisation of what we were doing to one poor boy. No understanding of the way our cruelty would affect his life, and not just his life then but his life for many, many years after.

Shall I tell you the story of one boy who came and joined our primary school?

His father was in the army and thus he had moved around a bit and joined our school a couple of years in. I think his family were very tight for money; my recollection is that he did not have the latest toys or clothes like many of us did. He lived in some flats that most kids thought of as being a right off. I cannot remember that he smelt or was dirty or anything like that but for some reason most of the kids in my class took a disliking to this boy and looking back now I know that we made his life hell. I am so sorry for the part I played in this and I have made amends with L and said this to him but I think it is important to tell this story as it makes you realise how things that seem like harmless kiddie behaviour at the time can actually be much more sinister.

Basically, each time anyone saw this boy, we would cross our arms across our chests and say ‘fleas, injected for all my life’ (as if we had been inoculated against flies). Where this came from, how it started I have no idea at all. My memory is that it was practically everyone in class doing the same and I am sure the teacher was aware too, as we became more sneaky and would just mutter it under our breath and maybe slowly cross one arm over our chest so as not to be obvious. Why did this teacher not talk to us all? Why did they not have our parents to the school and insist we stop bullying L? Why did L’s Mum not demand the school did something? As a mother myself now, I am outraged for the lack of care the school had for L. As a human I am mortified at the way this impacted him for so many years and as a Christian I can certainly say I repent with all my heart and would love to forget this ever happened but as ever it teaches me humility to know that I am flawed.

I don’t know about you but stuff from my early days at school (about ages 7 -10 I think) is not something I think of often and I have forgotten much of what went on. So when I was contacted on Friends Reunited and later Facebook by L himself about 9 years ago when I was 28 and he started to ask me about our time at school and why certain things had happened and did I remember…. I had to honestly say ‘no, I do not remember most of it’. It was inconsequential to me but of course not to him, not when it was damaging his self-esteem each and every day.

My first thoughts were fear when he started to contact me, was he after me? Did I have a stalker? Should I be looking over my shoulder? But here I am 9 years on and nothing sinister has happened. I think L just needed to make some sense of his childhood. He told me that his mother left a lot to be desired and he had not felt wanted at home. So there we were, heartless middle class kids putting the boot in at school too!

I believe L is relatively happy now, he went through years of counselling but is now in a relationship and I pray he can live out his days happy and at peace.

Never again will I ever have to face the truth and know that I am a bully. I vow not to do that. I am an adult now. I know better. I have other avenues that I can pursue. I do not need to fit in with the crowd that much. I do not want to get sucked into others crap.

I am happy to be me, the Lord loves me and I am blessed with a wonderful family and great friends.

This post was written using the Prompt 'Past Secret' for Josie's writing workshop. Hosted over at Sleep Is For The Weak. Go take a look I am sure there will be loads of other great entries.

Wordless Wednesday: Sleeping Beauties - Then & Now

August 2007 - 2 babes and 1 moses basket.


September 2010 - 2 big girls and 1 double bed!

The Gallery: Seasons

This weeks prompt from Tara at Sticky Fingers is a lovely one. Just the one word - Seasons, it will be really nice to see what different interpretations crop up across the Blogsphere.

I expect to most people the word Seasons just makes them think of the changing weather and the times of the year. For me as a Christian is has another meaning too, we tend to talk about seasons of our life. Or the phases we might go through during our life and how things and priorities change with those seasons/ phases. So for me right now, I am in the season of Motherhood. Bringing up my children is the most important thing and that takes precedence over other things. Family Rules!

So the pictures I bring to you represent this season of Motherhood and also the 4 changing seasons that we get to experience here in the UK. Looking at these pictures got me thinking that we are very lucky to be able to experience such diversity in our weather and scenery.

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So we start with right here and now, this is my Kids enjoying our town centre on Saturday. AUTUMN. JJ and Miss M are my posers!

Before this came SUMMER and our holiday back in July to Dorset.

April/ May time earlier this year and my girls were Beauties in the Blossom, back in SPRING.

and finally the time that all the kids love - WINTER. Miss E and JJ building a very small snowman back December 2009.

Pop over to the Gallery and visit all the other wonderful entries.

Life Lessons That Need To Be Learnt!

Many of you will know that I am in a 12 step fellowship for my food problems. I am a food junkie and at least once a week I say ‘Hi, I am Michelle and I am a compulsive overeater’. I sit in a room of anything between 2 and 20 people who all share the same problem with me. We all look completely different; people can range from a size zero to a size 50 and more… Some of us overeat, some under eat, some binge and purge, some are exercise bulimics and some people have a combination of food related problems but fundamentally we all have issues that lead us to thinking food just might be the answer to today’s problem. Of course we are wrong but that does not help our warped logic.

So with the aim of becoming whole again: spiritually, physically and emotionally we embark on this 12 step programme which will become a part of our lives forever. Each day we have to work to be abstinent from the act of eating compulsively, we have to read useful literature, we have to pray or mediate to a power greater than ourselves (and for me this is God but it does not have to be for you, it can be anything. For many people it is the power and love they share in the recovery room with their group) and we have to reach out to fellow sufferers.

I have been in this fellowship for about 18 months now and to the untrained eye you might be fooled into thinking that the programme does not work as I am still fat but that is where this programme differs to any diet you have ever heard of before, losing weight is not the be all and end all. I have made some amazing friends, people from all walks of life. People that the old prideful, snobbish Michelle might never have met. Each one of us in the fellowship is from a different walk of life, some are unemployed, others doctors, some are off work due to ill-health and others like me balance being a parent and working part-time in a good professional career. When we are in fellowship together we all stand equal and I love that. It teaches me humility and it teaches me about some of the wrong perceptions I used to have about life.

When I became a Christian about 9 years ago I started to see changes in myself. I became a nicer person basically and much of that was because I was reading lots and working on my own character defects. I am a lover of anything of a self-help nature. I have been known to read Life coach yourself in a week, Soup for the soul,They f##K you up! and of course many amazing Christian resources too like the Purpose driven life.

What being in fellowship has done is allow me to explore myself even farther. Each day I read literature that comes to me via email, web forums, podcasts and in approved books and some of the things I have read have changed my thinking enormously. I know that even if I stopped going to my meetings I would still read this literature because all the readings are so based on Christian principles that they apply to everyone who wants to be a good and decent person.

Over the coming weeks I plan to share some of the snippets with you from my readings as they make a lot of sense and offer good advice for a sound life…

So here is today’s thought for you –

Whatever men attempt, they seem driven to overdo --Bernard Baruch
It's usually very difficult for us to bring balance into our lives. We may find it hard not to put in overtime at work. We may be obsessed about housework or garden work to the extent that we work long hours at it. Whatever we do, whatever we have, whatever we want, it's usually not enough for us.

Any activity or commitment needs a certain amount of time, concentration, and energy. But some of us may be too absorbed in physical fitness to notice we are always tense, always on the go. Some of us may be so obsessed with money that we take on additional work, not noticing we are often hard to get along with. Some of us may be so fascinated by a hobby that we ignore people in our lives who need our time and attention, too.

We need to recognise the obsessive areas of our lives and begin to make changes. It may mean assigning time limits to different activities. Or it may mean altering our schedules, even letting go of an activity. Now is the time to begin to bring balance into our lives, gently and gradually.

I know I need more balance in my life. What are some changes I can make to bring the scales more in balance?

Being Driven Mad by a 3 year Old Tag Team!

You know when you have had one of those days?? Well today was one of those. You see that pretty face above here - that is Miss E - that is the cause of my crappy day!

How is it that kids know when you are vulnerable? When you are tired, poorly, hung-over - whatever it is? At the moment I just feel exhausted and a friend of mine came over today and confirmed it, Cheers L. x

So I have spent the day feeling frustrated. Wondering why my 3 year old twin tag team do not want to listen to me. Have they saved their terrible two's for when they are actually three? Or was it like this when they were two as well? I know Miss M was like this, but Miss E that is a whole new ball game...

How many times can two kids go and open the fridge and just look inside and say 'I am hungry'. OK, I could give in and let them eat something but when I told then that if they did not eat their breakfast they would have nothing until lunchtime I meant it. Yes I created a rod for my own back and it was a complete pain in the arse to enforce but necessary I feel.

Miss E has turned into a devil at the moment. I do not say that lightly, I am a good Christian Mummy you know! We go to pick JJ up from school and she likes to sit in the buggy and she sits there like an angel and smiles at people and does not say a word. Miss M runs off and disappears playing with her 'best friends' and people comment about Miss M being the naughty one. 'NO' I want to scream, you have no idea, Miss E has found her voice and her naughty streak and at home she is trying to push every boundary at the moment. This girl is so determined. I suppose it was to be expected, she could not be a little poppet forever. I do like feisty children with big personalities after all. I aways said I would hate to have boring kids.... and now I am rethinking that.

So there lies the problem - 2 feisty and troublesome parents = demanding kids that just wear me out! I was so ready for them to flop into bed tonight.

Can I take a repeat tomorrow? No way, I won't make it into Sunday. I have vowed to stop shouting so much in general so I have to find another strategy. What can I do to help my kids learn to be nice little people and to ensure that I stay sane too? Got any wonderful ideas for me? Leave me a comment...

So tomorrow I will implement strategy 1 - I have put together a simple chart for the kids and tomorrow we are going sticker crazy. Every little thing that the kids do right will be rewarded with a sticker and I am pretty sure that this should work some magic. I know JJ is always better with positive praise than discipline or Mummy shouting like a banshee, which is my default method of parenting!

Wish me luck...... I am sure going to need it!

Boy Do I Need This Funny!!

I know, I know! I said I was staying away from my blog for a few days and it has been a whole, what 48 hours? but I remembered that Tara's prompt this week for the Gallery was 'Show me your funny' and frankly I thought that was just what I needed to cheer me up. So I have been having a good look through enjoying others piccies and here is my entry.

My kids have shown an interest in glasses since a very young age, despite the fact that neither dh or I wear glasses.

Do you think they suit them?

No Idea....But Need to Let It Out...

So here is the crap that I need to get off my chest and out of my head. If I put it down here then I do not have to ponder on it anymore...

• I feel poop tonight, I think I have a cold coming and that is making me feel sorry for myself.
• The baby I lost would of been due in 18 days. I thought I was fine about this but it keeps popping into my mind.
• I can not seem to gain any long term abstinence at the moment. I wake up motivated and plan a good days food and then just give in too easily. I then feel guilty about that.
• I am very fat at the moment, I am back to 16st 9lb. I was down to 15st 2lb last December!
• I need to exercise but can not find the motivation to keep with it.
• My skin around my nails is as bitten as can be - not sure if this is stress, worry, anxiety or what?
• I am tired and I am going to bed in a moment. I have no desire to do anything but sleep tonight -I felt burnt out.
• I have been shouting at my kids too much, I need to gain some patience. I hate being on a short fuse with them.
• I felt completely disconnected at Church last night. I think sin is getting in the way of my relationship with God right now.
• I think I need a few days away from my blog. Just time to be and relax and be with my family.

Thanks to all who read my blog and support me. I expect to be back recharged very soon.
Mich x