I hate this feeling!

Gosh, something needs to be done.  When I am at home with my children at the moment I am a bundle of nerves, I am so tightly wound up that it is untrue.  You can just visuliase me as a bomb about to explode! There is no nice comfortable house anymore, not unless Miss M is sat with me, playing with me or in my line of sight.

The child will send me to an early grave.  I do not know what to do with her and it is really getting me down. Today I also feel ill and I just want to go to bed and hide. That's not good is it?

I posted a while back that Miss M was a bit of a pickle and I did not know what to do with her sometimes, she just seems to be so full of mischief.  Now, do not think I am exaggerating, I have 3 kids, this isn't my first.  I am pretty tolerant, I know children test boundaries and get into trouble but I never knew how demanding and troublesome they could be ALL of the time (well OK perhaps the majority of the time).

Luckily, at the moment this does not seem to be affecting my feelings towards her, I still think she is gorgeous, vivacious, full of enthusiasm and oh so intelligent  but she is also darn right naughty. I come down this morning and the kids are already downstairs, things look OK. Some toast I think, oh what is this?  Why is the packet of naans open?  and why has one been spread with butter ,half eaten and stuffed back in the packet to hide it?

Bored you might say?  What at 7.30am in the morning when she has only been up a short while?  Lack of discipline, boundaries I hear you ask?  No I seriously do not think so, ask my real life friends - I am not a Mum that lets her kids get away with murder, there are always consequences and when I say something will happen or will be taken away, I do carry through.

I could ask you what it is that I am doing wrong but seriously I do not think I am actually doing anything wrong, I just have not found the right approach yet, the one that works for her.  So I will have to keep soldiering on and hope and pray that I am able to sort this out, because for now it makes me really unhappy and completely on edge.

I lost it with her this morning.  She had nicked one of my Biro's and then purposely pulled it apart, destructive should be her middle name.  Last night she put toothpaste all over Miss E in the bath, then she took a stool and nicked the nail scissors from the bathroom when she should have been in bed and cut the hair off one of her dolls.  Shall I continue?  as I can tell you a thousand tales of a similar nature.  Every day holds a new challenge.

The other day I found a bowl behind the bin with a mix of tuna and double cream that she had nicked from the fridge, then in the little toilet there was tomato juice all up the wall, when painting the other day she decided to flick paint across my cream dining room, she draws mock tattoos on herself with pens.  Where am I when all this happens? Close by, perhaps in the next room tidying up or preparing dinner, it is not as if I disappear off for hours and read a book or sit on twitter.....  if only!

So this morning when I lost it, she got told that she is not allowed in the kitchen full-stop, she has to ask me before she enters it and this is hard as there is no door and it is the route to the downstairs toilet but I had to do something. I also said she was not allowed any Biro's, scissors or paint again for a very long time.

She knows this all makes me sad (read mad and extremely worn down) and she says sorry but then she does it again and again.  I will do what I advise others to do, be consistent and fair and wait for it to pass.  Please Lord say it will pass!

Anyone have any great advise for me?  Something I might not have thought about?