Saturday, 6 August 2011

Will you be honest with your kids about your drinking history?

I intend to!  Is that wrong?  Who knows but as a parent we can only do what we feel compelled to do and for me I tend to always be honest with my kids.  Of course I may tailor what I say to suit their age and the stage of development they are at when we have a talk but I think it is good for children to see that their parents are human and have made mistakes.  Surely if I show that I am fallable they will feel more able to come and be open with me when they make a mistake in the future and of course they will...

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So what will I be telling them?  Will I tell them that I had my first alcholic drink when I was about 12 years old, at my friend Susan's house after school one ordinary day.  I think she had a drink problem poor girl, as she drank small amounts every day after school - isn't that sad? What about the fact that I used to regularly drink on a Friday/ Saturday night when I was 14.  A whole group of us would go to the Church youth club or a local park and pour cheap drinks in coke cans and stay out and get drunk together - just because we could and we thought we were cool.

What about the time I was 14 and got so drunk that I have no real recollection of what happened?  That time that I am now so ashamed of, yes I know I ought to let it go, it is 24 years ago afterall but then it is not every person that loses their virginity in a park to a knob and can not even really remember it.  No I am pretty sure I won't be telling them about about that time.  Whilst it is good to share, to help them learn from some of my mistakes it is not right to lumber them with my baggage.

I will, however probably tell them that from age 14 through to about 26 I drank and got drunk on a very regular basis. Weekend nights at the younger and older parts of that spectrum and any night that I fancied during the Uni years!  Ohh those were great years.

I am pretty sure I'll also share about the times I was legless when I was older, like when I was 20 and went to Gran Canaria to meet my boyfriend of a few years, the same boyfriend that was sleeping with most of the tourists on the Island. Yes that night I was truly off my trolley, I tried to catch a taxi at 3am with a half packed suitcase and no idea of who I was.  The 'shits' flatmate found me asleep outside their apartment block about 5am with all my belongings.  How your heart breaks when you are young.

I have been sat here trying to recall the last time I was legless and I am pleased to say it has been hard to remember, this reminds me that my drinking is completely under control.  In fact I have little interest in alcohol nowadays.  I probably have about 6 nights in a year when I have a drink and maybe one or two where I manage to get merry and this is fine with me. Yes, I have remembered the last time I was truly 'off my face' was December 31st 2002, the night I conceived JJ, ahh what a nice result, so much better than a hangover!

So how about you, what will you be telling your kids?  and as for drugs, that is a whole another blog post, will I be fessing up about my limited dabbles with those?  Thoughts for another day me feels.