Last Wednesday evening whilst dh was out at a meeting I watched a program on Living, it was entitled Fat and Proud and was all about larger people being happy with who they are and the size they are. I turned the program on out of sheer nosiness and at first was greeted with some super-plus size ladies (around the size 30 mark) and a special club night they went to for larger ladies and the men who fancy them. This was what I expected from the program.
What I did not expect from the program was to be greeted with some seemingly respectable people talking about the work they do to try and get society to accept that there are larger people and that we are not all lazy slobs. 'Size acceptance' they called it and one lady also talked of fat phobias and it is true, much of society has negative biased opinions already formed about people who are fat. In honesty I have never had that much of a problem with this, my issue has always been with self-acceptance. I do not like fat on me, I do not want to be mega skinny, but I want to look good in clothes, feel nice, be healthy and active and have a great sex life.
What this program did get me thinking about was whether God intends that I should accept myself rather than keep trying to change me. My automatic assumption has always been that God wishes for me to be slimmer and to be healthy and fit for whatever purpose he has in mind for me. I believe He forgives me for my sins of overeating but that his desire is for me to be free of this burden. Now I am wondering how I should be free, is it free due to acceptance of myself or free by losing weight. or even a combination of the two. Having pondered on this all week I think that a combination of losing some weight to be healthier and then learning to love and accept myself, flabby bits and all is probably where I should be heading.
Also on Wednesday last week during my day at work, one of my colleagues was talking to me and she basically said she was not sure why I worried. I can not recall her exact words but I think the sentiment was that I was fine the way I was and that I just needed to accept myself adding weight to my thoughts that I have some work to do on self-loving and acceptance.
So how has this week been?
It has been a good week in all. I have not been perfectly good with my food and that is OK but the best thing is that I have not beat myself up about this. I am aiming for 3 meals a day with a maximum of 2 healthy snacks. Sometimes I have eaten outside of this and that is OK as this is something I need to sustain for life. No fads this time or regimes I can't keep to.
My weight this morning was 17st 5lb and that is a 4lb loss and I am very pleased with that.
Welcome to the world of Exercise
I have enjoyed exercising this week, it has not felt like a hardship. Isn't that a turn up for the books? I did my Leslie Sansom walking DVD on Tues and Weds and then by Thurs I had to have a break as my muscles had been awakened. Saturday I went for my first Pilate's session and again I am feeling that. I had no idea I had any muscles at my middle. I am then genuinely looking forward to doing my walking DVD again tomorrow morning. Getting up at 6am on a weekday to exercise before the kids awake is working perfectly.
So I am in a good place. Today God delivered me the most perfect gift. I have spent the whole day not wanting food. I did not have any cravings and I was able to say no to muffins at Church and snacks when the kids had them. Thank you Lord that are are walking with me and holding my hand.
How are you all doing #Mumentum friends?
