-----------------------------------------
Since I’ve had the twins, I’ve
noticed a marked increase in people in real life who come to me for advice, or
who say they think I must be Superwoman in disguise. This is a bit strange for
me. I’ve never been seen as some parenting oracle or superhero before. What has
caused this sudden change? I know it’s because I have twins as well as two
older children and others think, rightly or wrongly, that I am all of a sudden,
the go-to mum in the playground.
I can’t be the only twin mum that
feels a bit of a fraud about this situation. Yes, us twin mums tend to stick
together and talk about how mums of only one baby at a time would not
understand. While there may be some truth in this, I certainly have my tongue
firmly in my cheek when I say things like how I feel now I’ve had twins, I can
deal with anything. Because I don’t at all believe that this is correct.
To the outside, us twin mums look
a fearsome bunch. Online, we have been accused of seeing ourselves as superior
to other parents. Again, this is not true. What could certainly be true is that
our in-built parenting skills have been tested that little bit more than other
parents, and we have still come out smiling. From this comes an increased
confidence, and a better understanding of our own limitations. This may make us
look outwardly confident to others, and attractive to those who feel their own
parenting confidence is lacking somewhat. Maybe. I’m no psychologist.
As a twin mum, I am in awe (read
fear) of other twin mums myself. Yes, I got through a full-term, double-7lb-baby
pregnancy and that takes some physical stamina, if not mental. But I didn’t go
through any of the problems that too many other twin mums go through, or faced
my babies being born prematurely. At my twins group, there are women who had
twins after years of IVF treatment, and one mum whose babies were born so
prematurely, the doctors wrote her babies off. They are now crawling about
quite happily, but believe me when I say, you don’t cross that mum! A friend of
mine carried twins to full-term knowing that one of them would die soon after
birth. She continued with the pregnancy in order to save his otherwise healthy
twin brother. How she got through that, I can not understand, and hopefully
will never have to.
And don’t forget about all those
twin dads. My husband may not have carried and given birth to those babies, or
sat up half the night trying to establish dual breast-feeding, but he has
changed numerous nappies, pushed that
double buggy to school and back so I can catch up on sleep, and been heavily
involved in every other task he is capable of doing. He is as much as a
superhero as I am yet no-one asks him about his parenting skills and knowledge.
But for all our strength and
courage as parents, us twin mums and dads are not super or special. We can’t do
X-ray vision or have super stretchy arms (although I wish we could as it would
help) any more than any other parent. We are simply human beings who have been
faced with a special parenting challenge, and that could happen to anyone, even
Superwoman.
 |
I can certainly relate to people asking me for advice and treating me as if I am bit of a parenting oracle. It is quite humorous really! Thanks love for this super post, Mich x
Image Credit