I discovered a few months back that I need to learn to trust the Lord more. To know that He has my back and to be able to really relax into who I truly am and what He has destined for me but it is isn’t always easy. It should be but for some reason, I find letting go and relinquishing control very difficult.
My head knows that the Lord is with me every step of the way and my heart is catching up and starting to feel it. I’ve been distant recently if I’m honest, not connected with God as much as normal and I think I was working things through in my own way. Not the best one that is for sure, but the only way I know how.
On Christmas day afternoon I got my laptop out and searched for Slimming World groups as I knew I needed to take a positive measure to help myself shift some of this weight that is making me poorly. I’m becoming more and more breathless, my arthritic knees hurt, my calves hurt, my feet hurt and I keep getting trapped nerves. Add to that my horrendous periods and I am a bit of a mess right now. I can’t go on like this, I need to find my fight and to start to live as if I want to be here.
The way I am going right now I am heading for an early death; the way I am living is no different to if I were taking illegal drugs or drinking too much alcohol. Excessive food, especially fat and sugar are poison to my body and I need to change things. I had to laugh though as I read a post from 17th January last year where I talked about making small changes for life and the first one I need to implement was early to bed and early to rise but here I am a year later thinking I need to do that again. So no, it never did become a habit.
But there is hope, I have to keep on trusting – that I can do this, that the Lord wants me to succeed and that life can be richer when I am healthier and not held back by my weight and my own heavy mindset. So this morning I went along to join Slimming World, I was there at 8.30 am and it seems a great group, the leader is lovely and I feel motivated and ready to tackle this demon that has ruled me for so long, too long.
The change has started. I’m partying tonight but there will be no excess, just some fun with my family and friends and I suppose the early night will have to wait for tomorrow…
I’m going to set myself a target to update this blog at least once a month and share my progress of how I am doing. After all this blog was set up to be all about the progress and not the perfection.
Thanks for sticking with me readers and not giving up when my efforts are less than perfect.
Wishing you a very Happy New Year. Be blessed, Mich x
