I've often wondered why people renew their wedding vows after a number of years being married. I just asked my husband what he thinks about it and he gave me a nervous look and said he thought it was a bit weird. I wouldn't say that's my thoughts but I think it does need thinking through before you rush into it.
We've now been married for fourteen years but have been together for twenty-two. I Suppose because we waited quite some time, we
were able to have the wedding we wanted rather than one we felt we ought to
have. Our actual marriage ceremony was just perfect and if I'm honest I can't
imagine recreating that as it was so incredible and surely a once in a lifetime
event?
We were new Christians and truly felt the the
power of the words that our vicar said about us now being in an eternal
relationship together with each other and with Jesus supporting us. We are like
a three legged stool and our marriage won't work if the third leg (Jesus) isn't
part of it. That ceremony and the car journey afterwards to the venue were for
us probably the best parts of the day, the times when it just felt like the two
of us I suppose.
However saying that, I can certainly see the
attraction in getting to plan a wedding again and perhaps being able to do it
all differently to how you might of felt obliged to have the original one. I'm
an organiser at heart and planning a big event puts me in my element and gives
me a fun challenge - perhaps I ought to look at a career in wedding planning?
I spoke to a number of friends about renewing
their vows and most were positive, saying they would certainly consider it but
when pressed I generally found they all had reasons of why they might renew
their vows. For example if their loved one was terminally ill, if their first
wedding had been low budget or very rushed, or perhaps if a boisterous
well-meaning mother in law had taken over. A couple also said that if their
marriage had been through really tough times and they hadn't thought they would
make it but now the relationship was back on track they would certainly see
that as a reason for celebration and to reconfirm (or in some cases mean the
commitment for the first time) their vows to each other.
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| Image: Man & woman holding hands from Shutterstock |
For anyone thinking of reconfirming their vows,
here are a few factors you might want to think through -
1. Choose a date for the vow renewal, do you
want it to be on a significant anniversary or such?
2. What vows do you want to use, the same as the first time? Something
different or do you even want to write your own?
3. Where will you make this commitment, is it important to you to do it
in a Holy building like a church or temple or would you be just as happy
outdoors?
4. Who will host the vow renewal? As it is not a legally binding
ceremony you don't need anyone official to officiate so you can do it yourself
if you like or a lovely idea is for the original Best Man and Maid of Honour to
do it.
5. Will you have guests there so this is a public declaration or is it
just about the two of you? Or perhaps a small number of family like your
parents or children? Generally most renewals don't have an official bridal
party or groomsmen like the first wedding but to be honest it is your day, so
do what feels right for you.
6. Are children invited? This can be a controversial one but nowadays
many weddings and parties are child free and to be honest it is your big day so
you decide.
7. Will you have a party afterwards? If yes, then all the usual
considerations have to be thought through. Use a service like VenueFinder to
help you source a great location and then plan the party in consultation with
the venues team.
8. What food and drink will you serve? Do you envisage the day (or
night) encompassing a family BBQ or hog roast? Or is it more formal and there
will be cocktails and canapés?
9. Will there be toasts at the party? Do you want to speak? There are
no hard and fast rules for row renewals so you get to decide.
10. What will you wear? Are you going for the full white bridal dress,
wearing your original dress again or maybe something more low-key that you feel
really beautiful in.
That should give you a good head start and
plenty of food for thought. If you are planning a row renewal I'd love to hear
why you are doing it and leave any helpful comments for others in the same
situation.
Be blessed, I wish you a marvellous time. Mich x
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