Photo by Lauren Samuels on Unsplash |
{This is a collaborative post}
Once you have children life changes, of course for the better but it can also make some things a little more tricky. Things like dating for instance. You haven't stopped being an adult who needs company, companionship, romance or sex just because you have one or more children. So it's important to find a way to make dating work for you if you are keen to seek a new partner or even just some friendship,
Here, my friend Katie shares with you her tips as a single mum who has successfully got back out there after the break-up of her long-term relationship and found a new man that she thinks she'll have a future with.
1. Be honest about the fact you're a parent
If your new partner has a problem with kids then you need to know this upfront, as your children are always going to come first and if one of them is ill and you need to cancel, you should be sure that he/she will understand. Being honest and having open conversations is definitely the best basis for any new relationship.2. Don't overshare on the first couple of dates
Take things slowly with regard to revealing all about your family situation and children. Get to know your date a bit before you go into why your relationship with the kid's other parent didn't work out, or the ins and outs of your kids' lives.3. Choose an appropriate online dating site/ app
There are loads of online dating sites nowadays and not all of them will suit you. What is it you are looking for? It's important, to be honest with yourself, as well as others. Is it something casual? Is it a long-term relationship, or maybe even just sex? It doesn't matter which, that is your choice but to find a good match you need to be open and put the appropriate information into the dating site that you choose.4. Choose a sympathetic babysitter
It might be an easy answer to choose your ex-partner to look after the kids whilst you go on a date, but it is unlikely to be the perfect solution, as they may not want you to move on and could cancel last minute, muck you around or even just coming home to them after the date may cause awkwardness.Photo by Waldemar Brandt on Unsplash |
5. Stay in the moment and enjoy it
Make the most of the time you have away from the kids. It's important to remember you are a person in your own right, especially if the child/ children are young and still very demanding. This time away from the kids is important and precious, so don't fret about how the children are, just stay in the moment.6. Don't rush the introductions
Things may be going immensely well with your date, but be cautious about rushing into introducing them to your child/ children. Kids become attached very quickly and if you're not sure that you and this new partner will make it the distance then resist getting them involved with family life too quickly. Everyone can feel a little scared after a divorce.If you're about to embark on this journey, I wish you all the best and hope you manage to find someone who makes you happy. Mich x
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