Monday 21 October 2024

How to Start Putting Yourself First Once Your Kids Are Older

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{This is a collaborative post}


As a parent, putting your children’s needs before your own often becomes second nature. From their infancy through to their teenage years, your life may revolve around their schedules, activities, and well-being. But as your kids grow older and become more independent, a new phase of life emerges—one where you can finally start putting yourself first. It’s an opportunity to reclaim your time, focus on your own goals, and nurture your well-being. If you’ve spent years prioritising your children, here’s how to start focusing on yourself again.

 

1. Redefine Your Role

One of the first steps to putting yourself first is accepting that your role as a parent is evolving. While you’ll always be their parent, your children no longer need you in the same way they did when they were younger. Embrace this transition as an opportunity to shift your focus inward.

Understand that taking care of yourself is not selfish—it’s essential for your well-being. You can still be a supportive parent without sacrificing your own happiness and health. Redefining your role means acknowledging that it’s okay to prioritise your needs and wants and that doing so can even set a positive example for your children.

 

2. Reconnect with Your Passions

Now that you have more time to yourself, it’s the perfect moment to reconnect with activities you once enjoyed or to discover new passions. Perhaps there were hobbies or personal interests you set aside while raising your kids—whether it’s painting, hiking, reading, or learning a new skill, now is your chance to revisit those interests. If you’re unsure of what you enjoy, take this time to explore different activities. Try out classes, attend workshops, or engage in creative pursuits that bring you joy. Rekindling these passions can provide a sense of fulfilment and help you rediscover your sense of self outside of your parental identity.

 

3. Prioritise Self-Care

With more freedom in your schedule, it’s crucial to prioritise self-care. As a parent, you likely spent years making sure your children were cared for, but now it’s time to turn that same attention toward yourself. Self-care is more than just occasional pampering—it’s about maintaining your mental, emotional, and physical health on a regular basis.

Start by carving out time for self-care practices like exercise, meditation, or even something as simple as reading a book uninterrupted. These moments of personal time are essential for reducing stress and recharging your energy. Consider booking regular massages, scheduling wellness appointments, or starting a skincare routine that makes you feel refreshed and cared for. If something is getting you down or affecting your mental health, then take the time to fix it. For instance, many people struggle when their hair starts to thin, but visiting a Harley Street Hair Clinic London can help highlight possible options to improve this.

 

4. Set Boundaries

As your children grow older and become more self-sufficient, they might still rely on you for support in certain areas. While you’re always there to help, it’s important to set healthy boundaries that allow you to focus on yourself. Explain to your children that you’re creating more time for your personal needs and that, while you’re still there for them, it’s essential that they respect your time and space.

Setting boundaries can also extend beyond your role as a parent. Whether it’s with extended family, friends, or colleagues, ensure that you’re not overextending yourself or constantly putting others' needs before your own. Learning to say no and protecting your personal time is a critical step in putting yourself first.

 

5. Reconnect with Relationships

Now that your children are older, you can invest more time in nurturing your relationships. Whether it’s spending more quality time with your partner, catching up with friends, or meeting new people, social connections can significantly enhance your happiness and well-being.

Strengthening your adult relationships can bring a renewed sense of community and support into your life. You may also find it refreshing to engage in conversations and activities that don’t revolve around parenting. These connections help you maintain a well-rounded and fulfilling life outside of your role as a parent.

 

6. Focus on Your Goals and Aspirations

Once your children are older, it’s a good time to reassess your personal goals. Whether it’s advancing your career, starting a business, or simply dedicating time to your personal growth, now you have the space to pursue what matters to you.

Make a list of things you’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t find the time for while raising your children. It could be anything from travelling to pursuing a degree or taking on a new hobby. Set clear, achievable goals, and take deliberate steps towards accomplishing them.

 

Conclusion

After years of prioritising your kids, it’s natural to feel hesitant about putting yourself first. However, this new phase of life offers the chance to rediscover yourself and focus on your own well-being. By embracing self-care, reconnecting with passions, setting boundaries, and pursuing personal goals, you can create a life where your needs are met alongside those of your children. Ultimately, putting yourself first allows you to become a happier, healthier version of yourself, which benefits both you and your family.